We were out at Springbok again tonight.  As usual, a great time had by all.  It happened to be my birthday yesterday, so everybody and their mother was buying me drinks.  Hot mothers, that is…we’re talking MILF status, for sure.

Springbok is a really nice, chill spot.  It caters to a wide variety of people, full of shenanigans,  And we all know how much I adore shenanigans.  I live, breathe, eat and shit shenanigans, so it is definitely the spot for me.  If you recall, I wrote about my last time there, which ended in a massive cockblock.  Tonight was not looking great, but turned out pretty sweet.

I was talking up this chick, that happened to have a boyfriend.  Usually I call bullshit on the boyfriend card, until they have undeniable proof there is one.  Why, you ask?  Well, in my experience, even the chicks that are in to you, will pull the boyfriend card, just to keep themselves “safe,” whatever that means.  But tonight, I was chatting up this cutie pie named Corissa.  She was pretty into me, but was saying she had a boyfriend.  Of course, like any red-blooded American, I called shenanigans on the spot.

Low-and-behold, Corissa’s boyfriend shows up.  What a kick in the nuts.  But I’m not phased.  I am the Redmanthatcould, afterall.  Like the Marines, I don’t die – I just go to titty hell and regroup.  So I am outside, waiting to call it a night, and what do I see?  Yep, you called it – Mandy is outside!  So in about six seconds, I call Mandy over, and she tells me how it is.

Apparently the night after I tried to chat up Mandy the last time, she broke ties off with her boyfriend.  Can I get a “score!” from the audience?  Nice!  So of course, I swoop in like the absolute stud I am.  Mandy text me her number, and we are all set.  Need I remind everyone that Mandy had an amazing set of tits, cute face, and banging body all around.  She is probably DTF (down to fuck, for those of us not in the know), so I am ready and waiting.

My time has come, Mandy.  This will be an adventure, no doubt.   And as always, good times at Springbok.  Amen!

Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce you to my latest stroll down cock block lane. I was out with The Good Reverend, along with some other friends, at the Springbok Bar & Grill.  As is commonplace with a night out at Springbok, I was most definitely drunk and having a groovy time.  We had a nice spot outside on the patio, at a table with just our friends.

I am normally a social butterfly, so as the evening progresses, and I get more fueled with liquid courage, and a good story is bound to unfold.  This night did not disappoint.  Enter ’50s updo hair.

I am a sucker for everything ’50s-related.  I really enjoy the styles, clothing, and hairdos from the 1950s era.  It is so unique, classy and sexy.

We are all having a good time; I’m minding my own business, and staying out of trouble.  In comes trouble.  A cute girl with dirty blonde hair, in a ’50s style updo strolls in with some of her friends (who are also cute, but they have not caught my eye yet).  Her hair was similar to the girl to the right, except instead of having both sides go back into a ponytail, her hair just went down at the sides.  Needless to say, I am digging this girl’s style, and eventually the urge to let her know takes over.  My bladder starts tingling, and gives me the sign that I need to hit the John.  Perfect opportunity to talk to the  dame with the ’50s updo, who will later be named “Cock Block Cunt” (CBC).

So I handle my business, and walk by the group of cute girls, who are plunked down next to the juke box.  I compliment CBC, letting her know how much I dig that style of hair, and that it looks great on her.  This creates a good in with the other friends, as I find out that CBC just had her second baby, and this is her first time hanging out in nearly two years.  I plant my first seed here, and mention that they should come sit with us, if they plan on going outside.

Three of the girls go outside (CBC being one of them), and they start chatting away.  But they are not sitting with us…well…obviously my 8th cumulative shot of vodka is not going to let that go without a fight, so I walk over and chat them up for a second time.  This time around, my attention is focused on Kristin, who is somewhat tomboyish, but certainly cute and fun.  Kristin is a few years older than me, but she does not look it.  Within a few minutes, she’s laughing at my dumb jokes, and we have some solid rapport going.  The girls go back inside.

It’s time to visit the bar, for another screwdriver…

Yummy

As I approach the bar, i give Krstin a cute little bump, and ask her what she wants to drink.  She gets back to me with “two car bombs.”  So I order up 3 Irish Car Bombs, and my next screwdriver, of course.  It is now Mandy, Kristin and I having the car bombs.  I did not really take note of Mandy up until now.  This girl was the cutest of the three, and she had some bombs herself…in the form of deliciously-large breasts.  My oh my.

Now I am about 20 minutes invested, time-wise, and 2 drinks down, but at least I found the chick that fits me.  My field of study narrows, and I focus my studying on Mandy.  It takes about 4 seconds to coerce Mandy and Kristin to come sit outside with us.  It is also worthy to note that of both times going to Springbok, this was the first time I found a chick that was right up my alley – not terrible odds, given that I am fairly picky, and know exactly what I want, and hate to deviate.

Everyone is introduced to M & K, and I start chatting Mandy up pretty heavy.  I am laying on the charm thick; she’s laughing, having a good time, and opening up to me.  All is going as planned.  We even get to the point where she tells me she teaches kids how to swim, to which I mention I don’t know how to swim, and she immediately offers to teach me (“…you should get one of my cards…it has my number on it, and it is in the car…”).  Everything is going well…maybe too well…

Cock Blocking in 2008?

Say it ain't so...

Kristin gets up, and goes back inside…she is then replaced by CBC.  Little do I know what will happen next.  Within a matter of minutes, CBC realizes how well Mandy and I are hitting it off, and decides to show off the lost art of cock blocking.  She was masterful.  She was swift.  She was precise.  CBC, my friends, was truly a master of her domain.

For starters, CBC waits until there is a lull in conversation between Mandy and I, then talks to her about some asinine female subject I cannot comment on.  Good for you, CBC.  Little does CBC know, I am not going down without a fight.  Little do I know, I don’t stand a chance.

At this point, I understand my time is limited, so I go for the jugular.  I let Mandy know that I need to see her again, and that she would have a great time, blah blah blah.  For some reason, Mandy starts passively back-peddling, which is really odd considering how well the evening went prior.  It was either something I said in the five minutes prior to this point, or the change to CBC instead of Kristen at the table.  In any cases, I keep on keepin’ on, until CBC drops the hammer…

Mandy has a live-in boyfriend.

I am down, but I don’t feel out.  In my mind, had this really been a relevant issue, Mandy would have brought him up in any of the prior 40 minutes I was charming her pants off.  My thought, after finding this out, is that she’s just looking for a replacement.  Assuming my gauge wasn’t super off, I was expecting to still exchange numbers with Mandy, and eventually play with those massive breasts of hers.  My oh my.

CBC made sure I was wrong.  Now CBC says something to the affect of…”Mandy is such a sweetheart, and she would never be able to tell you herself…but this is not the right time for her.  She is in a serious relationship…” blah blah blah.  I guess there was some truth to it, or Mandy was simply not diggin’ the RMTC-look.

In any case…thank you once again, cock block cunt, for making sure Mandy and her delicious breasts were out of harm’s way.  Fucking cunt.